Sunny rain

Hey girlies, so first off it was raining all day yesterday and it was like gloomy today. Then a hour ago it was raining hard. Now it's sunny outside, the weather here is so bipolar. Today was another day I wasn't sure about.  My day wasn't terrible but it wasn't great at all. I realized that a lot can happen in twelve months. The reason I'm telling you this is because I keep trying to be the same person I was a year ago. But I was clueless a year ago and thought the world was the best thing ever.  But now I'm not even sure how to react anymore. No matter how hard I try to get myself to be the Arriana Sullivan I was a year ago I can't. It's not the same anymore and things are so difficult. I mean I really tried I tried doing my hair like I used to. Reading the books I used to and dress how I used to. I even tried listening to the terrible music I used to listen to. But nothing was working and I didn't know what to do.  It took me to sit alone in my room with my headphones in to realize people change.  Some notice the change and some don't pay it much attention.  It's hard for me to really accept that Im not the same girl I was a year ago and I can't change it. I can't pretend to b like her no matter how hard I try. So I ended up wandering around the wall and went inside of Rue 21. One of my favorite stores in the mall by the way. I saw so many things that represents the real me. The Arriana I am now and some people don't like her. I know exactly why she's strong but has a soft heart. Shes unique and doesn't take orders and she runs free.
It's not that I'm not happy with who I am but it's that I was so happy with who I was. But we try and we fall then we live another day. That's how life is my loves.
I know this is sort of a short blog post but don't forget to check out my YouTube for more daily stuff.

Kisses 💓Arriana💓

Finding a reason to smile

 I decided a quick blogpost on the topic teens all over the world are struggling with, happiness. Now I'm sorry if some of this adivce doesn't work for you. But just know I'm struggling with being happy and having confidence. There are so many tumblr girls, models and endless celebrities out there that make teen girls feel unwanted and ugly. It's society that has made us think that we need to have a flat stomach, arched eyebrows, big eyes and a perfect tan. But that's not how it is in the real world. Everyone has a flaw. But we're told to hide the things we Don't like about ourselves. Those tumblr girls are models who have pounds of makeup on their face and Photoshoped to death. Some even get surgeries for a single photoshoot. It takes them hours in hair and makeup up then two more hours to make sure everything is perfectly Photoshoped. My story started in the kindergarten. My first year of school. Now I wasn't bullied or worried about my looks. But r my baby sister was born the first day we brought her hope something happened that would scar my future. Everyone was coming to see my little baby sister and I just so happened to be running to get the door. But I tripped and fell right on my tooth. It hit the edge of her baby crip. It was my front tooth that had been loose. Now after that it wasn't exactly ready to come out but I wa embarrassed and wanted it gone .  It wasn't ready to be pulled it was just a little more loose. But I made my mom pull it out. Now you're probably going.... so what it's just a tooth. Well that one tooth in first grade got crooked so as my other front tooth. Now I know a lot of people have crooked teeth. But the tooth I had fell on turned yellow a dark yellow at the bottom. I never really thought much of it because I had friends who didn't care about it. They were my friends and didn't care how I looked. It wasn't until the third grade when I decided to go to the boys and girls club. The third grade was hands down one of the worst years of my life. One of the reasons was because the year before my brother showed me porn and he would sneak out the house to smoke weed. My mom would yell about it and he would run out the house. Endless times of him being kicked out of school scarre me too. But like I was saying I went to the boys and girls club. They're supposed to be fun right? You're supposed to meet people and have new friends and started a life for yourself.

But my experiences were horrible. Everyone would look right at my teeth and ask "what's that on your tooth" I'd get really upset because it was rude to me. The first thing they had to say to me was that? But one day I was at that club hanging with some friends when I met this cute boy there. I remember his name it was deanglo. He didn't say anything about it at first. But the next day we were in the art room and he told me I had a hillbilly tooth. My so called friends just laughed with him. So I left embarrassed and ashamed of the way I looked.

I'm not going to tell you the rest of the story right now but the point was I eventually got over it. I leaned I was pretty when people started telling me I was. Thankfully my teeth were fixed and I gained a tiny bit of confidence. Im still struggling to even call myself beautiful. But I want all you beautiful teen girls to look in the mirror or take a selfie and say damn I'm cute. Stop yourself from saying ANYTHING negative.

I hoped this post helped you many more to come lovely. 

Always remember to smile

Kisses ~~~ ♡Arriana♡